There's no I in Alone

I find it sort of bizarre that the ad that was just on my blog is about starting a blog with another site. Oh well, whatever floats their boat. I was really impressed for a while when it was about hair removal and dolphins. Those dolphin getaways seem awesome. When I was in Costa Rica there were gorgeous spotted dolphins all over the place. It really reminded me of a tangible version of the islands in Peter Pan. Costa Rica was phenomenal. It's so worth going. Go to Playa Tamarindo. And Playa Concha--a beach where the shore is made of seashells.

I just got done with a harrowing night of Gilmore Girls in which Lorelai and Luke finally kiss, but then Rory has one of the most awful virginity losses ever. Crushing, really. They were not letting anyone get off easily from season 4, let me tell you. and may I also say that I am disturbed that when I was pressuring my friends for details about future seasons, I was very personally hopeful that Lane and her crazy mother reconciled for her nuptials, and that Lorelai's parents reconciled and Richard didnt screw Jason over. Oh my gosh. I have gotten way more emotional since I've moved to Taipei. When I get those feelings of empathetic horror, if I am with people I know well, I have to grab onto them--like liferafts. Which doesn't go over well with anyone but Jessie, Andrea, and Linda. I have to learn to control myself more. Luckily soon I will be going back to the US where such displays will be unnecessary, a place that doesnt play with my emotions and cause me to be such an internal wreck. Where my blood pressure can go back to the sweet molasses pace of yore. Oh sweet day, come soon!

Speaking of that sweet day, there's nothing to make you feel wanted like people trying to throw you a going away party 6 weeks early. Okay, I get the hint. I mean, for my own sanity I have to live with the delusion that all has been well and people mean it when they say they will miss me. But I know about the snickering. You never know when people are secretly jockeying for the office they think you had no business getting and bidding on your leftover stuff. By the time I get around to leaving I envision people saying "havent you left yet?" while they decorate my office with pastels and stuffed animals. What has definitely been pounded into my head, though, is that I am expected to get married as soon as humanly possible. They've been placing fucking bets. Holy crap. Half of people who get married get divorced, people! Besides, Paul gives singlehood the a-okay, totally normal, even honorable, thumbs up... in the Bible no less. It makes me not want to date out of sheer spite. Or pretend I'm a lesbian. "Oh, I'm sorry, actually, I won't be beating anyone's record for marriage after leaving ORTV because the kind of marriage I want isn't legal in most states. HAH! That's right, I'm a missionary lesbian. Guess you all missed that boat. Gaydar way off, my friends. Did you hear me say I went to Well-es-ley?" or i could be really dramatic, "..actually, what i havent told you guys is that..i've been struggling with... i can't even say it...please, just let me be while I pray and wrestle during this time." except i think God might actually let me be smited for making light of people's issues. Anyway, I guess this probably isnt the time to congratulate my friend Bret on his impending marriage. I think that the point of predicting our marriages is supposed to be some kind of Christian porno, people wishing the best for you--and that best is lots of condoned intercourse, lots and lots whenever you want. But you know, I had a friend who once said she rejected a guy because her ovaries just couldn't accept him. And I feel that. I could have been legally married to Mohammed at the Route 9 Texaco or to the guy who makes Indian wraps at the night market. Could already be having lots of legally and morally approved sex. But I'm aiming higher. Yeah, I've probably been ruined by skewed portrayals of love in movies, but hey. I'm actually happy alone. I guess that's mind boggling. I didn't think it was until so many freaking people started bugging me about getting married. People think I'm going back to the U.S. to get married. I'm sorry, I would never do that. How could you ever assume that you will go somewhere and get married--just bump into your soulmate. Like, meet someone you would want to live with forever. FOREVER. I've acually made some plans for my life that have no man in them thus far. And I bet there are women, in certain countries that shall remain nameless, who would cut off their boobs to be able to stay single. I mean, I work with a bunch of missionaries, I'm kind of hoping someone will surprise me and tell me that when I go home they hope I will witness miracles or be able to heal people with touch or become fluent in three languages and bring peace to a hemisphere or become a decent reliable person who can actually get somewhere on time and work for something I am really passionate about or shit, even learn how to cook or use my love of writing to tell the stories of the voiceless. But no, it's all marriage. marriage marriage marriage. Right now I like being single. I am happy being single. I'm going to sit back and let that blow your mind for a while......................This is probably also not the time to tell you that Rachel and I are totally masterminding a setup between Peggy and Raymond. What can I say? I'm 32 flavors and then some. I'm not at all against marriage, I'm just against bad marriage.

Onward and upward, today I managed to get 2100 NT from my FBI class for my Taipei 101 Climbathon! woohoo! I may well have totally guilted them into giving, but whatever. They are giving money they would have used on karaoke to relieve stress and they are giving it to women and children who are being destroyed. Its a better eternal return on one's investment.