Baby French and the marche

I'm taking French lessons in Paris. I believe I speak at the level of a 2 year old. So, I was in the Franprix, my local market, shopping away, and I remembered that while my landlord had some extra detergent, I had no dryer sheets. So I head to the detergent section and, as happens virtually every time I enter the Franprix, I become paralyzed. I am staring at a huge wall of godknowswhat. I am like a child, picking things up...shaking them, possibly sniffing (in the dairy aisle)...hmm. The French can actually be very kind, especially if you are really apologetic and polite, so I ask this girl coming down the aisle if she can help me. And I now know just enough French to be ridiculous. So I say  "I am searching for a piece of paper to put in the dryer." In my defense, I think in the states this would be enough to culminate in dryer sheets. But she is flabbergasted and skeptical, like I might be a firestarter. I believe firmly in my request so I repeat my "paper for the dryer" plea. She starts picking up boxes...and shaking them. She finally settles on some sheets that help prevent color leakage in the washer. Which is...also helpful, but not dryer sheets. Defeated, I resort to English and say "you know, those sheets of paper you put in the dryer that make clothes not stick together." and she says "I have never heard of that." For good reason. The French (and possibly all of Europe) don't use dryer sheets. You can wash your clothes with liquid or powder or tablets or dissolving sheets or weird plastic pods, but when it comes to drying, well, you're on your own. In their defense this is probably because so many of them line dry their clothes, which is anathema to me. The ladies at the laundromat confirmed this lack of any type of destatifying product. They were passing the time helping me with my baby French homework. (I had a super fun time explaining to them, as to my classmates earlier in the day, why an American would find the French word for shower, "DOUCHE", so funny. They were like "on American movies we have heard this word "douchebag", and we know it is bad, but what is it, a bag for the shower? ah, mes amis, non. since I'm on the subject, on a continent famous for bidets, the concept of douching was met with resounding puzzlement and a little horror.)

This incident leads me into my next get-rich-sort-of-quick scheme. I am going to be the Europe's first importer of dryer sheets. I am going to corner the market. When I explained the concept of the dryer sheet to my classmates, particularly the Swedes, they thought it was a brilliant invention. and I was like "they cost almost nothing but magically your clothes have no static."et voila!

But back to Franprix. the dairy aisle at Franprix is usually what gets me in trouble. For instance, did you know the French don't really put cream in their coffee? Just whole milk. so the concept of half-and-half does not exist. what does exist, however, are a variety of creams with varying fat content....is 12% fat more like half-and-half or 30%? If asked on the spot, I wouldve gone with 50%, but that's because when it comes to all things domestic, I am like Nell, the female version of the Faulknerian manchild. (12% is even thicker than half-and-half, if you are interested or also domestically disabled.) So I was back to my picking things up and shaking them routine. And I resorted to...asking a nice French lady which cream I would put in my coffee if I were to put cream into my coffee like an American would. And she confidently directed me toward a container of creamer I had automatically dismissed because its picture was of someone *pouring cream over a huge piece of SALMON*. But she was absolutely correct. I've experimented with the others, and their texture isn't right. Salmon creamer for the win!

My most recent Franprix dairy aisle confusion came when I was looking for an approximation of Greek Yogurt. The only brand that actually said "greek yogurt" was way too creamy. But I believe that if the US can have 10 brands of Greek yogurt, then France (so much closer to Greece and so much more needing to prop up its economy by buying it's wares) should have like 50. But I see only the one. So I explored, looking for high protein but low fat content. and I found something called "fromage blanc." It's everywhere. 10 brands, 10 sizes. But is it cheese? it says "fromage" but is in the kilo container normally reserved for yogurt or costco sized sour cream. And it costs 1.5 euro for the store brand. So I ask at the checkout counter "is this like yogurt?" and they go "no, no it's...well, it's creamy and you can't eat it for dinner. It is meant to be eaten at breakfast with sugar" okay, and I say again "comme yaourt?" (like yogurt?) and they again say "no, no" I'm going to save you another 10 minutes of boring discussion and tell you that it tastes exactly like frickin plain yogurt. Leave it to the Europeans to be intensely precise about identifying dairy products.

The incident reminded me of when people in Taiwan would say "oh you have to try this snack at the night market near the university, it's some meat and vegetables wrapped in dough and then boiled or fried" and I would say "you mean like dumplings?" and they would emphatically say "no, they are definitely NOT like dumplings, they are very unique" and I would go and try them and they would be...like dumplings. but maybe  a centimeter smaller than a normal dumpling or rectangular and fried. In fact, in Taiwan there are probably 15 words for things that are dough wrapped around meat then boiled and or fried. But the size or shape of the wrapper...whether there is juice inside....like a whole new world. not like dumplings at all. Except for being exactly like dumplings.

Just a smiling, eye-contactual, bare-legged tramp

Now, there were many things I noticed upon first moving to Paris, things about which I could wax poetic as many before have done. Instead, I'm going to focus on a different observation: dude, these men are too aggressive.

Not being the type of beauty who was ever stopped in the street, or stopped anywhere, actually, due to my looks, I was floored in the first week when two men stopped dead on the sidewalk and said "excuse me" (and I thought they were asking for directions) and then said "can we have coffee. now?" I think this is the type of experience I am supposed to treasure, ah oui, romantic Paris. I, however, am not only an American, but an American who has seen way too many Law and Order SVU episodes. So I respond more like "stranger danger!" because I am highly suspicious of anyone who would stop, well, not just me but anyone, in the street and be like "let's get together." And this has now happened to me, oh at least 10 times in the past month, the last time being outside the laundromat tonight when a man who reminded me muchly of a younger version of the guy who plays professor Lupin in Harry Potter, spoke to me rapidly in French and all I understood was "beautiful, see you, neighborhood, come to my house, glass of wine". Earlier this month, I was starting to think that maybe I had hit my sweet spot. France: a whole population of men genetically designed to be enamored of moi... I had been sadly socialized as an American who was destined to be revolted by the men who would love me.

Being who I am, though, I couldn't really take it at face value. I had asked my classmates, who are younger and very lovely, whether this was happening to them as well and they responded "no" or "very rarely". Hmmm. So one of my classmates who has already lived in Paris for a year, says "do you smile at them?" and I said "I smile at everyone." and she says "you can't smile at them, they think you want to sleep with them...do you also make eye contact with them?" and I respond, again "Of course, I make eye contact with everyone." and she says "oh no, you have to stop that immediately." so, what I'm gathering is a perplexing paradox that in a country where everyone kisses all up in each other's space when they greet STRANGERS, the fact that I acknowledge people kindly on the street somehow is elevated to the level of a full pass for a full court press. This whole exchange, by the way, reminded me very vividly of when I went to Moscow and St. Petersburg with Jane and she told me that I needed to stop smiling because it gave me away as a foreigner. "When you smile too much in Russia they think you have a mental disability," she said. SO I tried, I did, but I couldn't help it, and basically gave us away as a foreign foursome to be cheated and maligned even more than everyone in Russia is cheated and maligned by virtue of its very being. 

Another inkling I had in the first week or two was that my legs were being looked at a lot. Now, friends, I have very white legs. But the French are fairly pale, I couldn't imagine my legs being so shocking as to deserve notice. But it was starting to remind me of the time when I was in Amritsar, wearing a midlength skirt (to try and be respectful) and tourists were taking pictures of my legs because those six inches of whiteness were so scandalous that even the Golden Temple itself was not as exciting and phenomenal as my bare, white calves (um, but all their stomachs are hanging out, explain that to me). I also noticed as I looked down, walking through the throngs of people, that...no...one...else..in Paris (even in skirts and shorts) had...bare...legs. But this is France, in one of the subway stations there is a full, vagina and all, picture up as an advertisement for a famous photographer's museum retrospective. well, a friend tells me at brunch the other day "oh, only whores don't wear tights. even in summer." someone else said that only in summer would there be bare legs. whatever. 

All this to say, it turns out that my bare-legged beskirtedness combined with my doltish inability to stop grinning and acknowledging people, has made me appear to be a complete, 24-hour-access tramp. 

Regarding the smiling, I'm at a loss. I may be beyond help. But I bought leggings. 

To sleep

Priority 1 this week is to sleep at least 7 hours per night. I have a feeling that I've been too ambitious in my goals for each week, the sneaking suspicion that the goals I inevitably set out for a week are more like the goals for a month or a year...or a life.

A Julie-made to-do list (created over the length of any given plane flight) can variously contain some or all of these elements: eat well; sleep well; pray; read Bible/spiritual guidance; do one sudoku and one crossword a day to stave off Alzheimer's; read all HUD guidance that I've neglected to brush up on for the past 2 years; learn French; learn Spanish; practice Chinese; exercise; write letters to friends; pay bills; buy stuff I've been meaning, for months, to buy online; make a budget; watch movies on Netflix--indie ones, popular ones, foreign ones--especially Chinese ones to help with previous goal; update blog (this is a two-fer today); make more jewelry; sell already-made jewelry on etsy site (figure out way to take non-ghetto etsy pictures...and set up etsy site); take online classes in disaster relief; listen to TED talks; re-read Harry Potter series; read books of classic literature--up next Moby Dick and Pale Fire; practice for the LSAT; read the economist; read wired; plan trips abroad; call grandparents; write stories for Owen; post photos to Facebook...and I know I'm forgetting some that most likely have to do with fixing up my house and trying to get a roommate.

SO, this week I have one goal. sleep. that's it. I tried last night and it was sooo hard. My mind kept racing. funny things i wanted to post or email or text; thoughts like "should i take my vitamins now or in the morning?" but i was strong and stayed in bed. i think i slept for like 7hrs and 15 minutes. and i could tell in class that i was more alert. and by my diminished need for caffeination. i wonder how long it would take to make this a habit. i read an article that said humans have a finite amount of willpower, so if you use it on one thing, you lose the capacity for the next thing you want to be disciplined about. or, in my case, the next 40000 things.

we'll see. I will be deploying The Comfiest Shirt In The World. It's a black shirt so comfortable I prefer it to being naked. And I simply didn't think that was a statement I could utter.

I hope I have good dreams. A few nights ago I dreamt that I was eating pecans. So I bought some at the store roasted with salt. They are delicious. I wonder if pecans are the most flavorful nut. I also love almonds muchly...but mostly the blue diamond ones in salt & vinegar flavor, wasabi & soy sauce, habanero bbq, blazin buffalo wing...aka covered in delicious chemical crap. yummm. well. t-minus 15 minutes.

good night! xo

Around the World in 23 days!

This will probably be a multinstallment set of posts because the volume of experiences in the last month traveling from San Diego to Taiwan to India to South Africa and back to SD are too much for my concentration and, likely, everybody else's.

A few summary issues.

Jetbridges. I am going to compose an ode to jetbridges. I love jetbridges. You know what I don't love? taking stairs to buses. The developing world, however, seems to heartily enjoy buses. They favor them. They enjoy planes being geometrically patterned out on tarmacs, like fighter jets on Top Gun. "Hey we don't have a gate for this plane--well, just park it out in that field over there, the other planes can get around it!"

I also love lines. queuing as they say in some countries. Yep, I love a good line. Taking turns makes me weak in the knees. It's something that usually annoys me, until I visit countries who don't value a good line so much. In addition to my passport, my elbows also got a good workout slamming people to the side when I realized it was either break out the elbows or wait while other people jump in front of you until time immemorial and you turn into a pile of dust like Lot's wife, but for an even stupider reason.

in transit and Happy year 100, taiwanese calendar!

I'm only 11 hours into my trip and I'm already blogging about it. I'm pretty sure there's an excellent adage about narcissism that can be applied. I'm hoping it's less that than my being bored to death in Narita on my layover to Taipei. I also have a confession: I just paid 24 dollars for a rainbow roll. I completely and utterly failed to check the exchange rate and it said "New Year's Special, rainbow roll 2011 Yen" so I was thinking, in the US a good price for a rainbow roll would be 8-10 dollars and Japan has been in a recession. Anyway, upon realizing my folly, I spoke to the rainbow roll and said "you better be the best damn rainbow roll ever made, or else!" (I hadn't defined what "else" would be, but you can bet that the lady wearing the surgical mask who cheerfully sold the exorbitant roll to me would be involved.)anyway, luckily for all, it was the best damn rainbow roll ever made. I also bought chocolate covered potato chips made by some company called Royce who claim to "break down old customs and produce consistently original products". I wanted to save them for Ma Hartle, but they expire the day after I return, so I may need to share them with Yasmeen, my foodie soulmate, when we get to the wedding in Jaipur.

I realized when I woke up from my sleepy plane haze and was trying to arrange my Taipei activities, that I have been talking ad nauseum about the wonderful things I will eat in Taipei, but in arranging my days, it was actually catching up with people that I was craving, and I wasn't really hungry for food. And I thought that was quite nice because I would certainly rather be that type of person...And then I realized that apart from a few very close friends, I had really only announced my arrival by facebook. And, funny enough, that really isn't adequate. So now I have been sheepishly emailing people like "heeyy, I'm coming across the ocean today--want to meet up?" just in case they didn't get from my status updates on facebook that i was coming and would really like to catch up on how people have been. classy. cl-ASS-y

Slept through almost the entire 10 hour flight, which was good for my jetlag (I currently have no idea what time it is anywhere) and good because the American guy sitting next to me on the plane was terse and rude as hell (and this discerned just from interactions asking him to get up so I could go to the bathroom. I'm not chatty on planes.) Strangely, though, he kept single white femaling everything I ordered. how many non-Commonwealthers order sparkling water with lime and black tea at the same time? and then get beef and diet coke? only I can do that. Anyway, it was unsurprising that said man was reading a Hemingway book. Not all people who like Hemingway are assholes, but they're a high-risk population. I recently came up with a similar rule about Tom Waits when my friend tried to defend someone heinous just based on the fact that if he loved Tom Waits he couldn't be bad. au contraire, people. It also holds for Sufjan Stevens, whom I enjoy as much as I do Tom Waits. Good taste in music does not make you immune to assholery. That's a lesson. in addition to the greater lesson of this blog: check the exhange rate!

Well, it's New Year's Eve evening ( I just lost 17 hours in time change) and should be stepping out of my cab with just enough time to pour some champagne and witness the fireworks at Taipei 101 from Andrea's rooftop bay windows. I also realized (after Yvonne mentioned it) that this is the 100th anniversary of the Republic of China founded by the Guomindang, 1911 being the year zero on the Taiwan calendar. So the fireworks should be epic!

Happy New Year!

I love anything with a hint of bruslin, politics, or conceptual ketchup.

Tonight we went to my favorite vegetarian restaurant in San Diego, which is rather nastily named "Spread." yes, ostensibly it's because of the many wonderful peanut and almond spreads that the owners lovingly make by hand (my favorites are the butterscotch peanut and the white chocolate almond espresso) or, sure, it could be like a spread, as in "that's quite a spread you've got for dinner." But really, really, we know what first comes to mind. Anyway, I love these people, they are very warm, their food is crazy delicious, and they are even huggers once they get to know you (i.e. you come in a second time). Today one of the menu offerings was fries with "conceptual ketchup." Dude, wtf. I was laughing so hard at this ridiculousness, but apparently it wasn't as funny to them as it was to me. And apparently this "conceptual ketchup" is all the rage on the Food Network. Man, I'm a foodie, but this to me is like when my bosses started using the word "leverage" and "synergize" too much. I roll my eyes. Anyway, everything was delicious, both conceptually and in reality.

I received a piece of mail from the tax assessors office today that was entitled "your property taxes and you." That sounds dangerously close to the title of a book I had to read in 5th grade sex ed. And this mailer was less titillating, though apparently by sending in their mailer I get 70 bucks off my property taxes. Huzzah. 70 dollars a year closer to paying off my hundreds of thousand of dollars mortgage. Seems miniscule, yet I fear that if I don't send it in my Mom will get enraged like she did once when I was 16 and was cleaning out the perennially overstuffed drawer by the home phone and I dumped a bunch of pennies in the trash. whoa. WHOA. She was like Ben Stiller's character Mr. Furious from Mystery Men, but when his powers actually kick in. I mean, I guess I did literally *throw money away!* Holy crap, what a spoiled American child. Needless to say, I have it stamped and ready to go.

It's election time, which means the time of year when I get agitated and perplexed that my parents are rational, kind human beings who are sincere Christians and yet vote in a manner so diametrically opposed to myself. I've been saying for years now that we are trying to get to the same place (world peace, helping the poor and widows, heaven on earth, etc.) but we have radically different ideas of how to get there. I tend to be much more cynical about people and think the government needs to take care of the poor because I believe I see evidence that the wider population will not. They believe they should keep their hard earned money and give to their church who will help the poor. and I don't believe that enough people who say they want to keep their money to give to the poor actually want to give to the poor. I believe they want to buy video games and boats. This does not stop us from all loving each other tremendously, evidenced both by frequent contact, support, and by them letting me steal their coffee when I run out. Still, as I sent in my mail-in ballot I basically knew I was offsetting the vote of at least my Mom. My Dad can be a wild card. He may watch the O'Reilly Factor, but he also loves Project Runway (and Tim Gunn) and Glee, so he's definitely got a bit of voting maverickness in him.

I asked on Twitter whether there was a word for the flavor of burnt/carmelized raisins because I love it so much. (I have to apologize to my Mom whose bread pudding I destroyed last night by picking out all the carmelized raisins and then puzzling the pudding pieces back together. I'm really to old for that, but...in an Amelie sort of way I may never be old enough.) Anyway, apparently there *isn't* a word for it. SO I decided to make one up. Like Shakespeare. The word for burnt/carmelized raisins is "bruslin." That's right. There was a bruslin Irish pastry I used to get at The Cheese Shop in Wellesley and I still sometimes dream about. See, it works.

Hunger Strike Manifesto, the June Second Hunger Strike Declaration by Liu Xiaobo

I was trying to find a full online transcript/translation of Liu Xiaobo's Hunger Strike Manifesto and there are no full, free transcriptions. So, I decided to transcribe it myself. Future posts will still be my own little daily thoughts.

Liu Xiaobo, winner of the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize, wrote this during the 1989 Tiananmen Square protests. He wrote it as a manifesto for the hunger strike embarked upon by himself, Hou Dejian, Gao Xin, and Zhou Duo.

Hunger Strike Manifesto by Liu Xiaobo

We are on a hunger strike! We protest! We appeal! We repent!

Death is not what we seek; we are searching for true life.

In the face of the high-handed military violence of the Li Peng government, Chinese intellectuals must dispose of their age-old disease, passed down over centuries, of being spineless, of merely speaking and not acting. By means of action, we protest against military control; by means of action, we call for the birth of a new political culture; and by means of action, we express our repentance for the wrongs that have been the doing of our own age-old weakness. The Chinese nation has fallen behind; for this, each one of us bears his share of responsibility….
Our hunger strike is no longer a petition, but a protest against martial law and military control! We advocate the use of peaceful means to further democratization in China and to oppose any form of violence. Yet we do not fear brute force; through peaceful means, we will demonstrate the resilience of the democratic strength of the people, and smash the undemocratic order held together by bayonets and lies….
The thousands of years of Chinese history have been a story of violence met with violence, of learning to hate and be hated. Entering the modern era, this “enemy consciousness” [where one separates the enemy from the people] has become the legacy of the Chinese. The post-1949 slogan: “Take class struggle as they key link” has pushed to the extreme this traditional mentality of hatred, this enemy consciousness and the practice of meeting violence with violence. This time, the imposition of military control is but another manifestation of the political culture of “class struggle.” It is because of this that we are on a hunger strike; we appeal to the Chinese people that from now on they gradually discard and eradicate enemy consciousness and the mentality of hatred, and completely forsake “ our “class struggle” form of political culture, for hatred generates only violence and autocracy. We must use a democratic spirit of tolerance and cooperation to begin the construction of democracy in China. For democratic politics is a politics without enemies and without a mentality of hatred, a politics of consultation, discussion, and decision by vote based on mutual respect, mutual tolerance, and mutual accommodation. Since, as Premier, Li Peng has made grave mistakes, he should be made to resign according to democratic processes.
However, Li Peng is not our enemy; even if he steps down, he would still enjoy the rights that citizens should have, even the right to adhere to his mistaken beliefs. We appeal to all Chinese, from those in the government down to every ordinary citizen, to give up the old political culture and begin a new one. We ask that the government end martial law at once. We ask that both the students and the government once again turn to peaceful negotiation and consultative dialogue to resolve their differences.
The present student movement has received and unprecedented amount of sympathy, understanding, and support from all sectors of society. The implementation of martial law has turned a student movement into a national democracy movement. Undeniable, however is the fact that many of t hose who have supported the students have acted out of humanitarian sympathy and discontent with the government; they have lacked a citizen’s sense of political responsibility. Because of this, we appeal to all members of Chinese society to gradually drop the attitude of being onlookers and merely expressing sympathy. We appeal to you to acquire a sense of citizen consciousness. First of all, this citizen consciousness is the awareness that all citizens possess political rights. Every citizen must have the self-confidence that one’s own political rights are equal to the rights of the Premier. Next, citizen consciousness is a consciousness of rationalized political involvement—of political responsibility—not just a sense of justice and sympathy. It means that every man or woman cannot only express sympathy and support, but also must become directly involved in the construction of democracy. Finally, citizen consciousness means self-awareness of one’s responsibilities and obligations. In the construction of social politics bound by rationality and law, every one of us must contribute his part; likewise, where social politics are irrational and lawless, each bears his share of responsibility. Voluntary participation in the political life of society and voluntary acceptance of one’s responsibilities are the inescapable duties of every citizen. The Chinese people must see that, in democratized politics, everyone is first and foremost a citizen, and then a student, a professor, a worker, a cadre, or a soldier.
For thousands of years, Chinese society has followed a vicious cycle of overthrowing an old emperor just to put up a new one. History has shown t hat the fall of a leader who has lost the people’s support or the rise of a leader who has the backing of the people cannot solve China’s essential political problem. What we need is not a perfect savior, but a sound democratic system. We this call for the following: 1. All sectors of society should establish lawful, autonomous citizens’ organizations, and gradually develop these organizations into citizens’ political forces that will act to check government policy making, for the quintessence of democracy is the curbing and balancing of power. We would rather have ten monsters that are mutually restrained than one angel of absolute power. 2. by impeaching leaders who have committed serious errors, we should gradually establish a sound system for the impeachment of officials. Whoever rises and whoever falls is not important; what is important is how one ascends to or falls from power. An undemocratic procedure of appointment and dismissal can only result in dictatorship.
In the course of the present movement, both the government and the students have made mistakes. The main mistake of the government was that, conditioned by the outmoded political ideology of “class struggle,” it has chosen to take a stand in opposition to the great majority of students and residents, thus causing continuous intensification of the conflict. The main mistake of the students is that, because the organizing of their own organizations left much to be desired, many undemocratic elements have appeared in the process of striving for democracy. We therefore call on both the government and students to conduct level-headed self-examination. It is our belief that, on the whole, the greater fault for the present situation lies with the government. Actions, such as demonstrations and hunger strikes are democratic ways through which people express their wishes; they are completely legal and reasonable. They are anything but “turmoil.” Yet the government ignored the basic rights of the people granted by the Constitution; on the basis of its autocratic political ideology, it labeled the student movement as “turmoil.” This stand led to a series of wrong decisions, which then led to the growth of the movement and rising antagonism. The real catalyst for the turmoil is therefore the government’s wrong decisions, errors of a gravity no less than those of the “Cultural Revolution.” It was only due to the great restraint shown by the students and people of Beijing and the impassioned appeals from all sectors of society—including the Party, the government, and the military—that wide-scale bloodshed has been avoided. In view of this, the government must admit to and examine these mistakes that it has made. We believe that it is not yet too late to correct the mistakes. The government should draw some painful lessons from this major movement. It should learn to become accustomed to listening to the voice of the people, to allowing people to express their desires through the exercise of constitutionally granted rights, and to governing the country in a democratic way. The nationwide movement for democracy is a lesson for the government in how to govern society by means of democracy and rule of law.
The students’ mistakes are mainly manifested in the internal chaos of their organizations and the lack of efficient and democratic procedures. Although their goal is democracy, their means and procedures for achieving democracy are not democratic. Their theories call for democracy, but their handling of specific problems is not democratic. Their lack of cooperative spirit and sectarianism that has caused their forces to neutralize each other have resulted in all their policies coming to naught. More faults can be named: financial chaos; material waste; an excess of emotion and lack of reason; too much of the attitude that they are privileged and not enough belief in equality; and so on. In the last hundred years, the great majority of Chinese people’s struggles for democracy has remained at the level of ideological battles and slogan shouting. Enlightenment is much talked about, but little is said about the actual running of a democracy. Goals are discussed, but not the means, the procedures, or process through which they will be achieved. We believe that the actual realization of a democratic political system lies in the democratization of the process, means, and procedures of operating such a system. For this, we appeal to the Chinese people to forsake this tradition of “empty democracy,” a democracy of only ideology, slogans, and abstract goals, and begin the construction of the process, means, and procedures for operation of a democracy. We ask you to transform a democratic movement focused on ideological enlightenment into a movement of democracy in action; this must be done by starting with each specific matter. We call for the students to begin a self-examination that should focus on the overhaul and reorganization of the student groups in Tiananmen Square.
The government’s grave mistakes in its approach were also reflected in the use of the term “a handful of persons” to refer to participants in the protests. Through our hunger strike we would like to tell the media, at home and abroad, who this so-called “handful of persons” really are: they are not a bunch of students, but citizens with a sense of political responsibility who have voluntarily participated in the present nationwide democratic movement led by the students. All we have done and all we are doing is lawful and reasonable. In this combat of opposing political cultures, of character cultivation and of moral strength, the hunger strikers intend to use their wisdom and actions to make the government feel shamed, to make it admit and correct its wrongdoings. We also intend to encourage the autonomous student organizations to improve themselves daily in accordance with democratic and legal procedures.
It must also be acknowledged that democratic governance of the country is unfamiliar to every Chinese citizen. And every Chinese citizen, including the highest officials in the Party and the government, must learn it from the bottom up. In this learning process, mistakes by both the government and the people are inevitable. The key is to admit mistakes when they become evident and to correct them after they appear; to learn from our mistakes and turn them into positive lessons; and, during the continuous process of rectifying our mistakes, to learn gradually how to govern the country democratically.
We don’t have enemies!
Don’t let hatred and violence poison wisdom and the process of democratization in China!
We must all carry out self-examination!
Everyone bears a responsibility for the backwardness of China!
We are above all citizens!
We are not seeking death!
We are searching for true life!

--Liu Xiaobo, Ph.D in Literature, Assistant Professor, Chinese Department, Beijing Normal University
--Zhou Dou, former Assistant Professor, Sociology Research Institute, Beijing University, Director, Comprehensive Planning Division, Beijing Stone Corporation Group
--Hou Dejian, well-known composer and song writer
--Gao Xin, former Chief Editor of Normal University Weekly, Party member