Well, That Was Unexpected

Real life is stranger than fiction...depending on which authors you read, of course.

Friday, June 29, 2007

supergeek, supergeek, she's supergeeking out

i'm having a slight identity crisis here because i just posted to an adobe online forum to ask for help. there are 33 people in the online forum...an online forum for help with adobe products. the full force of my nerdiness is hitting me in the face and making my lips flap in its breeze. i'll be one of those people who comes up in an online search and you'll be like "who the hell actually finds and signs up and posts to those forums?" and now that is me. beyond that, it was super helpful. i'd like to thank my fellow geek on a leash, rick. salute!

So, pasted above is my new car. except mine is a 2005. but it is the same color (blizzard pearl--it does indeed sparkle like a pearl, you know i'm such a sucker for sparkles). it does crazily unnecessary, but advanced, things, like immediately unlock my doors when i shift into park. and lock them when i shift into drive. i can control my radio from my steering wheel. it drives so smoothly that on nice surfaces i feel like i am floating. and it's a toyota. and even though i think i got scheisted on the price a bit, supposedly i will be able to drive it forever and ever, amen. we had an adorable car salesman names afonso (that's right, alfonso without the l). he was from zimbabwe, and i was excited to give him a sale. not so excited to give his sleezetacious manager any credit after he sort of snowballed me into believing my warranty was better than it was and after he said that the solara was a great choice because it was 'more mature'. has he not been living in the same youth-obsessed society i have for the last 28 years? referring to the scion i was also considering he said, "no one who drives it is over 40." and frankly, that's what i want to hear. i don't want to be reminded that julia's fatalistic musings might be right and that time is passing ever more quickly and our metabolisms are slowing and that soon we will have a telltale smell and won't be sleeping more than 6 hours a night as our bodies prepare for that final sleep in the sky. (although, maybe i don't care so much about life. i wasnt very thankful for being alive when my car died--sadly, no airlifting, but the towtruck drivers' deft manoeuvering onto the traingle o' death was pretty impressive-- but was instead just pissed that it died and wouldnt hold out until i paid off my debts. effing daewooooo!) but as far as toyota is concerned, the youth-directed people have something going for them because scions are a flat price. no negotiating. because negotiating with car salesmen is as fun a root canal and less hygienic. apparently more "mature" people enjoy being dicked around. julia and i did concur, however, that this is my first real car. much like a child's first dance or something. a car i am buying entirely on my own, and, well, a "mature" car.
ahem, in other news. my tony blair has stepped down. if only, like steffi graf, he had stepped down in his prime. instead he has a dirty war on his head. but i still love him. quasi-socialist christians, i love you! my whole team at work are raging democrats, despite their tax brackets. we get along famously. so how would it feel to be chelsea clinton? like, hey chelse, what do your parents do? having two parents who were presidents of the united states? she's like "well, i've earned employee of the quarter twice now, and i'm thinking of transferring into sales..." right.
we should all now send out prayers and good vibes to sonya who is job searching and will eventually be kicking ass and taking names in the male-dominated world of architecture. i hope that she will use her extensive scifi knowledge to design something crazy--since that is the recipe of the day in dubai, i hear. charity and i are both pulling for a realization of anything from neil stephenson, particularly the weird floating pirate city in snow crash.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

highlights from taiwan

taiwan highlight:

meeting with rebecca chao:

rebecca is one of the funniest people in any language, and i highly recommend seeking her out if you havent had your fill of crazy recently. soon after i got in the car with her and her fiancee, weber, i asked her how their respective trips to vancouver to study english had gone. she says "oohhhhh, i loved it sooo much, i want to move to canada, and i have a plan, and maybe this is ..."(feifa, what is feifa, she asks weber, "illegal" he says) she resumes "maybe this is illegal, but i think i will get pregnant and fly to canada and have the baby so the baby will be canadian and can help me move" and of course i am like "wow, what a great plan!" because i am always an advocate of bringing life into the world to selfishly help one achieve one's goals. anyway, later, after we had picked up jade and were relating this car convo to her, rebecca comes up with a better plan: "andrea! she is canadian! i will just marry her and then divorce her and bring weber over to canada, julie, do you think andrea would be willing to marry me?" "oh. abosultekly, who wouldn't?" i say. to which weber says "you cant marry a woman" and rebecca says "yeah, in canada same sex can get married...right, julie?" "yes, that's true," i say..."and it's not even illegal like the baby plan." needless to say, when i returned home to andrea's apartment i informed her that rebecca had some big plans for andrea's life. rebecca is also pressuring weber to go to new zealand for a year of working vacation, which you can do if you are under 30 apparently, and is life changing. i need to do more research but if it's just a year of farming, i don't know.

local news:
my car totally died on thursday in spectatcular fashion as i was cruising in the fast lane down the 805. when i finally managed to get to the right hand side to pull off i was on a patch of triangular ground between the 805 and the 52, two large highways. even the AAA roadside assistance guy was scared for me. "ma'am, the cars I hear in the background don't seem to be slowing down..." anyway, i had been hoping the daewoo would hold up for another 6 months so i could get my debt paid off before, you know, acquiring lots more debt, but alas, the woo is not to be driven...actually in super ghetto fashion, i wanted to just deal with it and drive it until it really stops running and is a pile of molten metal, but my family appears to be willing to go to extreme measures to make sure i don't do that...it just has a leaking heater core, it cant be that bad, right? i just need to drive it 100 miles a day for the next 6 months...ahem. anyway. so that is a pile of sadness. i mean, it shouldn't be a surprise that the woo died. the company is defunct and really i probably should have used the 3 grand i spent 5 years ago to buy a used toyota. but still, i had a completely illogical optimism that hoped the stupid thing would defy the odds. my little underdog daewoo. so i cry for myself. i'm trying to look at the bright side, which is the fact that i am getting a new car. a car with a working radio and air conditioning. so that's awesome.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

i`m big in japan--on the way back from taiwan

blogging from nagoya international airport at the free computer station in the free business terminal in the boarding area. sweet! a whole bunch of free computers and cables for those with laptops. can i brag a little and say that my minimal knowledge of traditional chinese characters has been maximally helpful here in japan.

nagoya is kind of a nifty airport--it`s in the middle of a bay and so i keep wondering if it is the entirely floating airport i once heard about many years ago before i ever started traveling, but it may also have been hong kong or tokyo. on my way over i decided to spontaneously ditch duty free and go into japan and walk around the welcome garden, and it may have actually been my 20th country. eek!! i meant to plan for my 20th, but hey--a spontaneous run through japanese customs to walk around a weird garden with lots of stone piles sort of artfully (like crop circles) arranged might be exactly right for me. anyway, there are dozens of cargo ships laden with goods floating in and out of the bay. flying in we saw lots of pretty japanese hill/mountains with foliage that looks from the sky as if it is sort of rough and fuzzy deep green moss. the most distinctive feature i saw though were literally hundreds of golf courses. seriously. one place must have had like 10 courses to choose from. the japanese love them some golf. they also love them some din tai feng as melissa and i found out. speaking of which, i have determined that the din tai feng xiaolongbao followed by dessert at chocoholic is one of the worlds best culinary one two punches. seriously.

right now i am celebrating my victory of ordering an iced americano with white mocha sauce from starbucks workers with whome the only common language was a picture menu and some convenient coffee words that have just been transliterated into japanese *whitu mocha sowsu* and may i just say that for those of you who have been wishing starbucks made vietnamese coffee, the iced americano with white mocha sauce is the fulfillment of your/my wishes.

some of you may be wondering why i have just spent valuable time describing an airport in an industrial japanese city and coffee when i have just been back to taiwan for 10 full days which included the wedding of two of my favorite people, linda and campbell?!?!?! the answer is that i am sleep deprived and am pacing myself. there is no way i will be able to finish writing about the 10 days in taiwan before i go and moisturize and use up duty-free expensive anti-aging products before i board my flight.

in short: i had a very wonderful and warm time in taiwan meeting up with old friends and coworkers and helping campbell and linda. the wedding was gorgeous and oh my gosh, even made me cry multiple tears at the sappiest part when campbell surprised almost everyone by singing linda a song he wrote himself and arranged with someone from his church, and which was so good that i basically thought he had just found an existing song and used it, but no, and you could tell because he choked up and he was singing it straight to her and it was so personal and how he was so glad she sticks by him through everything even though they are the most dramatic couple in the world and they know it and they are still best friends and i was like "oh shit" and i was suddenly really glad i had stolen a kleenex from andrea earlier just in case...and really glad we had bought some waterproof mascara. in vain news, i am still unsure of my decision to wear red lipstick, everyone kept saying it was very "me", but i was sort of hoping to transcend me and be more gorgeous than "me" usually is. i think the red makes me look very white which defeats the purpose of using self-tanner. i will try to remember to post pictures when i receive them as long as i look tolerable in some of them.

ahem. there is ever so much more, but i have to go to duty free and get to my gate. hope everyone is well.