Well, That Was Unexpected

Real life is stranger than fiction...depending on which authors you read, of course.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

my love for you is 4 Real

allright allright, the natives have gotten restless and have pointed out that i left off on a layover and for all anyone knows, i am still stuck in some hellish airport. luckily, i managed to escape airports for a time (this will not be true next week when i fly to virginia beach, return to SD friday evening, then turn around and fly to cincinnati sunday. the horror, the horror.) anyway, there is much to report so this will be loooooong.

I have yet to address the happenings in Albany, which were truly fantastical.
The most eventful night was actually the last night when Misha, my college rommate,

who was my friend from the very first minute we met in our summer program, came up to visit me from NYC. we had a few precious hours and decided to go somewhere to eat and talk as long as possible. we ended up at a place called the Envy Lounge that thought it was very swanky and made a big to-do about whether we would be able to get in seeing as we had no reservations...luckily there were plenty of envious seats available. Now, when you name yourself after one of the 7 deadly sins, i expect a sinfully delicious dining experience...this it was not. the roasted pumpkin soup was super sweet and tasted like goupy pumpkin pie filling...i could go on about the meal (it was dining week in albany so it was a set course for 20.09 at various city restaurants) but the real story is not the crappy food.

the REAL story is how at 9p.m. they cleared the chairs from the main floor and decided to hold a dance exhibition that played out like a high school talent show. First up was a ballerina from the local dance school who was trying to dance en pointe but kept SLIPPING to our horror--we were sure she was going to die, but she valiantly kept trying to save herself and then just danced flat-footed. next up--an anticlimactic white belly dancer. she was neither here nor there really. but next and most awesomely, was SHOCKWAVE the robot:

please note the silver underwear. The contrast of being in a restaurant with people dressed to the nines and who thought this was *the place* to be and the fabulously down-home talent show entertainment was just hysterical. it was like being inside a christopher guest movie. After Shockwave the Robot, whose popping and locking skills were frankly debatable, but who was fun to watch nonetheless, there was a pussycat dolls wannabe group called the Limited edition dancers. at this point mishes and i decided not only could we not talk, but we had gotten the full gist of the evening's entertainment.

so mishes was still hungry after not eating much of the crap gourmet food. we decide to try to find a place for dessert and coffee. but albany actually shuts down at 9:30 pm. it was horrific. so we see this mcdonalds and decide, okay we can get apple pie and ice cream (a favorite of mine from when i lived in beijing actually.) and this produced another wondrous experience. the mcdonalds was closed except for the drive-thru. so i ask misha how much she wants this apple pie. and she is pretty committed. so we wait in line at the drive-thru. behind cars!! when we get to the drive-thru and come face to face with the man who had come to the door to tell us that the mcdonalds was closed, he tells us that the ice cream machine has been closed up for cleaning and there is no apple pie. we stand indecisive for a minute. he then rolls his eyes and says, well, apple pies would take 12 minutes to cook. we both shrug and decide we have nowhere else to be and it's a nice 65 degree evening. he also says we can have milkshakes. we decide this sounds lovely. we decide to wait on the curb by the door rather than in the drive-thru. this leads to a colorful encounter with a crazy/homeless/crazyhomeless man with a little dog. he doesnt respond to the wary small talk we are making, but instead goes on a tirade about how his dog is famous and known by hundreds of thousands of people because it was dognapped and he got onto 4 radio stations asking for it back. it was a well-trained little dog, i must admit, so who knows if we were in the presence of true animal fame. but a surreal experience all the same. so anyway, after that we have no visitors except a cleaning woman leaving the mcdonalds and wearing an obama shirt--we try to helpfully tell her that depending on the local rules she might not want to wear the shirt to the polls in case they have something against passive electioneering--she's like "whatever". then we get our apple pies and shakes. one sip into the shake and i feel violated--the dude put the unfrozen unprocessed shake mix into the cups. it tastes like a vat of chemicals. (just in case you ever thought mcdonalds milkshakes were made of any real ingredients. no they are not--but when properly prepared they are still delicious chemicals.) so we are spitting the foulness out of our mouths the rest of the way back to the hotel, past the crack den bus station.

so it was an eventful evening, another classic in the story of our friendship.

speaking of long friendships, the Sunday after arriving back home from Albany, Charity and I, 6 months late, treated our high school friend Lisa to a very belated birthday present. we had said that we would treat her to a concert (with us in tow, naturally) and she hadnt gotten around to choosing one. but as fate would have it, one of the very weekends she was coming down to visit was the same weekend the So You Think You Can Dance tour was in San Diego. yes. oh yes. so we got our 15 y.o. selves in gear and went to scream our heads off with a bunch of other, much younger, dance fanatics. note the presence of multiple pictures of Will--so hot right now!

yes, we were all totally game for the experience, but i think we all shuddered when the contestants explained that a particular gesture they do involving 4 fingers sort of pulling on their shoulders stood for "4 Real" which alludes to them being the season 4 contestants and that their experience and love for each other was...so real. i was like "oh yeah, i'm too old for this."

anyway, of course there is more to say, but this is enough for now. should have lots of more airport time coming up for bloggage. :)

Monday, September 15, 2008

en route to albany

am on my layover in the philadelphia airport on my way to albany. a few things to discuss. 1. US Airways--TERRIBLE. will never fly them again if possible to avoid doing so. they charge even for your first checked bag? oh wait, american does that too. assholes. so, get on the plane and the air conditioning is off and it is a packed flight. i am sweating as we wait on the tarmac. sweating. and very close to the man next to me, who is also...sweating. sweating with strangers is a great way to start a morning. also, they CHARGE for sodas and juice! 2 dollars for a bottle of water. luckily i asked for non-bottled water which is still free because hopefully someone has made them aware of the potential for deep-vein thrombosis on a FOUR HOUR FLIGHT. yuck. also, when i pulled down the tray table.they had sold the tray table top as ad space--it was an ad for fedex and kinkos. barf! i felt not only much like mooing cattle, but also like i was just some automatonic vessel to be marketed to. like one of those people in the movie Wall-E! argh! i have swiftly fallen in love with southwest airlines, because, bafflingly, their commercials are true. they do not charge for you to check bags. they do not charge for nonalcoholic drinks on the plane. sheesh. 2. the philadelphia is much nicer than one might imagine. 3. i have these crazy loud talkers here in the waiting area on their cell phones. i don't really want to be all up in strangers' business. i don't need to know that the girl behind me is having drama and telling someone on the phone to "don't listen to her or trust her, ever" or the lady next to me "oh my gosh that was probably the funnest party i have EVER been to." really? can i go?
4. the lady across from me has a hot pink ipod that matches her shirt. very cute.

oh my gosh, john stewart interviewed tony blair on the daily show the other day. i think stewart got a little crazy in his desire for answers about the war and how a sensible, brilliant, articulate person could authorize it. towards the end of the interview i think he realized it and was like "oh crap, i got a chance to interview tony blair and i basically tried to shred him to bits." luckily tony blair is pretty game, and while i guess i commend him personally for not selling out george bush as a war-mongering ubermoron, it would have been good to hear some regret over the war. i am still so in love with tony blair. he is teaching a class on faith and globalism at yale and if i were one of his students i can assure you i would be trying to take advantage of him.

in strange health news, i was having some intestinal issues, so i am now doing a fleet prep 1 which is basically a colon blow. dear God in heaven. tomorrow i am getting my intestines scanned after drinking something to make them glow. oh life doesnt get more horrific than this (i'm just thinking locally--i.e. my ass, folks, not globally). i absolutely would never wish this on you. terrible. (update) everything is fine. berium enema's are pretty heinous, almost as heinous as what you have to do to prepare for them. again, not wishing it on you guys. but i'm glad everything is supposedly fine. my doctor called and said "eat more fiber". i wish we didn't have to go through all that for me to be prescribed all-bran.

Under Sarah Palin's watch, her town billed rape victims for the kits used to gather evidence.

that's the last i want to crap on sarah palin. we're all pretty clear on what i think of her intellect, qualifications, and ability to be a competent vice president. this doesnt mean i wouldnt drink a latte with her when she watches hockey with her lipstick on. but i've decided that i need to refocus on crapping on john mccain who has many terrible policies worthy of critique while he is still alive.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

i'm a walkin, yessiree and i'm a payin

Oh, my pastor's message today was excellent, funny and also thought provoking. It was about evangelism in postmodernity. and he addresses the hilarity of the term postmodern as well :) you can find it here: http://www.fhpc.org/pages/page.asp?page_id=15456 it's called The Postmodern Path. anyway, i'm looking forward to the series. small groups are starting again this week which is wonderful because my small group is truly fantastic; it's always a spiritually refreshing time. i'm grateful to find people with whom i can be so honest and get feedback i can trust.

speaking of church, today i walked the 6 miles to church up this huuuge hill. and then i walked down said big hill and at the bottom the sole of my right shoe came entirely off. this might not seem like a time for spiritual reflection, but may I say that either the Lord or great coincidence made it so that my father and i happened to be going to Road Runner to buy shoes and the plan was that he would pick me up somewhere on my return route. he picked me up 10 minutes after my shoes went kaput. and we went to road runner where they analyzed the pressure i put on my foot, my arches, and my walk so that i could get the right shoes and inserts. i absolutely could not decide between a pair of sauconys and a pair of nikes, both turquoise, so i got them both since i was supposed to get two pairs of shoes anyway so i can alternate on the walk. the guy who did my foot analysis is also walking the three day with his mom and aunt and has done so for the past two years, so he had some good advice. for instance, thin socks. i thought for sure you would want cushiony socks, but no--you want thin, non cotton, blister-preventing socks that keep moisture away from your foot. those are some special (read: expensive) socks, my friends. let's just say i spent a pretty penny to raise a pretty penny.

i am absolutely thrilled about the start of football season. i am not thrilled about the chargers losing in the last few seconds of the game. i do not need a freaking heart attack courtesy of the carolina panthers. as a charger fan you get used to disappointment. i've learned to consider every win a surprise. i was glad to see that michael turner had a good game for atlanta. i was irked to see brett favre win for new york. such a douche move. he has now retired and unretired TWICE. sigh.

jane is in labor and we should have word on our new friendphew soon. so exciting!

Friday, September 05, 2008

Leezza, Leezza, Leezza. ... I love her very much

i never thought i would quote Ghadafi on my blog, but this...this is just too good. He is commenting on Condoleezza Rice who is making a historic visit to Libya: "I support my darling black African woman," he said. "I admire and am very proud of the way she leans back and gives orders to the Arab leaders ... Leezza, Leezza, Leezza. ... I love her very much. I admire her, and I'm proud of her, because she's a black woman of African origin."

Who knew Ghadafi was like the Arab Hugh Hefner? He has an all female bodyguard force. i wonder what condie thinks of him. i told my mom i think of her as such a badass that i sort of forget she is a woman, i just think of her as a world leader, so to read ghadafi being all smarmy about her is so hilariously inappropriate. My friend Beth who got her masters in arab studies from harvard and now works at the state department and to whom i therefore defer in all middle eastern matters said "there are not enough strong words in the english language to describe how insane Ghadafi is. he is a total nutjob." i said i felt the same way about mao zedong and how creepy it was to keep seeing his portrait during the olympics.

so i've totally gotten my father addicted to Project Runway. it's pretty hysterical. he will even rewatch it with me when i watch it from DVR. he always gives away the end, he'll say things like "that dude's toast" and "i cant believe that girl wins because the african chick's dress was so much better." speaking of which, i am a big korto fan, and i am upset that now that leann has won two challenges she has gone super bitch and is criticizing joe and kenley. if you're going to be drab and mousey with stringy hair you could at least be a nice person. suede should have been kicked off instead of stella, though. that outfit was so fugly i couldnt even handle it.

my heart was truly warmed last week when i found out that this little boy i loved in the orphanage back in taiwan, whom i dubbed yoda because of his crazy ears and because his name was yo-chen, was adopted with his sister by a local family in taipei. and rachel sees him in the nursery with her son. puh-recious.

this is some awesome political hypocrisy brought to you by the daily show: http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=184086&title=sarah-palin-gender-card