Well, That Was Unexpected

Real life is stranger than fiction...depending on which authors you read, of course.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Franz Ferdinand and the Russians

I guess my friend Sonya who lives in Karachi won't be going to see the Da Vinci Code. Because it's been banned in Pakistan in deference to the protests of the 3% of Pakistanis who are Christians. And because Jesus is one of the prophets of Islam, they say that defamation to him is like defamation to all. Fascinating. I haven't seen it due to the fact that half the movie is apparently in either French or Latin and the subtitles here are in...Chinese. And somehow I don't think my reading ability is equipped to handle codebreaking and specific theological terms. I thought the book was a fun read. Then again, I realized it was a fictional novel when I was reading it, so my faith has remained in tact. Phew. I wonder if the reason some people are professing to believe in what Dan Brown has written is just because they want to have masked basement orgies and feel condoned by the Lord. Much to everyone's relief, that is not one of my deep desires. When I read about the rich group of people gathering for their ritual I couldn't help but think of the scene in So I Married an Axe Murderer when Charlie's father goes on about the secret society that runs the world, The Pentavarate, "The Queen, The Vatican, The Gettys, The Rothschilds, *and* Colonel Sanders before he went tets up. Oh, I hated the Colonel with his wee *beady* eyes! And that smug look on his face, "Oh, you're gonna buy my chicken! Ohhhhh!"

I don't want to brag, but I have an incredible ear for music. For instance, I heard a song in the background at TGI Friday's and I loved it and found it very peppy, but had no idea exactly what the words were or who sang it. But I had this sneaking suspicion it was either Franz Ferdinand or Death Cab for Cutie or something--thanks to Lisa for the music mixes that introduced me to said bands. And indeed, after a mere 2 minute search I found the Franz Ferdinand song I was seeking. It's called Do You Want To and I've been listening to it for like 2 days intermittently with the new Dixie Chicks album, which is really good! A few songs are a bit too twangy for me, but actually I can listen to almost the entire album. I have to say, this is one instance in which the online sampling made me buy the cd. They had it streaming for free on MSN. I know, publicity ploy, but I was like, dude, I should listen to it for free because some of their old songs are awesome and hysterical (no one can do a crazed look like Natalie Maines in that Goodbye Earl song) and it's FREE... and then I sort of streamed it like 5 times in a row.

Your many prayers for strength during packing were answered. I just have to heave a few more items over and then it will be done.

So, I've decided to burn down Russia. Russia does not deserve to be a country. I am just going to bring lighter fluid and matches and leave a trail of scorched earth behind me. I will create a new Russian diaspora. All of their drunken, grumpy people wil have to flee elsewhere to be terminally pissed off and dye their hair unflattering shades of electric red. Why? Why would I, who consider myself a citizen of the world--with a few notable exceptions for countries that suck, i.e. china, sierra leone, colombia, RUSSIA!!--want to inflict wrath, the depth of which has been largely untapped, upon the Russians? Because they are trying to CHEAT us. Because they are trying to extort money from us to get into their poor-ass, corrupt country. (By the way, who bribes ice skating judges, anyway? At least bribe the hockey officials or break the legs of a snowboarder or something, but figure skating? This is a sport where men wear makeup and women put glitter in their hair to compete. of course, the extremely tight, ostentatious nature of the outfits is indeed, very near and dear to the russian ideal for daily fashion.) Because the amount they extort doubles when you get into their country and have no recourse. Because they deny people visas if they have a substandard lunch at the visa office even when they approved them a year before. Because they allowed Stalin to remain in power. Because Vladimir Putin is ugly and used to kill rats in the stairwell for fun. Because if they are poor as ass they should just ask for charitable money rather than cheat and threaten people. Because they killed children when they used flamethrowers in that Chechen school hostage situation.


Anonymous Lisa said...

How funny- I should have included that Franz Ferdinand song in your mix- I don't know how I missed it! And I love it that you love the Dixie Chicks!!! I wouldn't have guessed that one- but am pleasantly surprised. Their new album is great - The Long Way Around has made it to #2 and Lullaby to #3 on my top Dixie Chicks Songs List. My other faves are all from various previous albums-
1. Cowboy Take Me Away
2. The Long Way Around
3. Lullaby
4. Travelin Soldier
5. Landslide
6. There's Your Trouble
7. Wide Open Spaces
8. Long Time Gone
9. Top of the World
10. Wide Open Spaces
11. If I Fall You're Going Down With Me
12. Godspeed
13. Cold Day in July
(In case you were wondering!)
Got out super early from work tonight!! After last week, this feels like heaven.
As for Russia- please try to refrain from any pyromaniac activites until we go- then if we still have reason to want to destroy, I'll help. You know how I like fire....

12:00 AM  
Blogger Julie Hartle said...

nice! i fully enjoy the list of favorites, and i shall sample them. i'm a new dixie chicks convert--this is my first album. and you should still feel proud--it is entirely due to you that i was able to identify it. there's almost nothing more frustrating to me than when i get a song in my head and have no way of knowing what it is or how to get it. closest thing to insanity. hey, my coworker liz said we might want to buy a carton of cigarettes to brible people with in russia. what do you think?

12:34 AM  

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