fire and night

so san diego has been on fire. and all we have been doing the last few days is sitting at home and watching the fire news. and calling friends and family to see if they are okay. and calling them again. and figuring out new friends to call, and watching fire news. yesterday was the first night that any normal tv programming was on. it was 7pm and susan taylor of nbc miraculously cut to Wheel of Fortune, which, as jennifer recently pointed out, is a staple, a symbol of comfort and alls-wellness in the Hartle household.

today is thursday and is the first day i have been able to come into work. and frankly, it's sort of a nice change from having been cooped up in the house. and my insane natural optimism even made me enumerate all the positive things about going in to work. like the fact that the fires are being contained, i get to see my coworkers and return to normalcy, and the air at the office would probably be better than at home. i was shockingly wrong on that last score and i actually ended up having a total coughing attack on the stairs.

so, i'm listening to Night by Elie Wiesel. question: if you were forced to work in the crematorium, do you kill yourself, or do you throw people in the kiln and commit whatever atrocities you have to do to try to live and testify to what happened?