moments of what? clarity?

i noticed this morning that i have a disproportionate number of songs in my ipod playlist with the word dancing in the title. it is particularly funny consdering how little real dancing i do, unless you consider wiggling in my seat at work a form of dance, which i believe in some norwegian cultures is actually the most outrageous form of dance currently known.

melissa, jessie, charity, and i got back from our california road trip last week. i hope to post some awesome pictures soon. my camera charger was lost somewhere in my move. it was an epic trip, and i have to say that in 6 and a half days we saw a monumental amount of california and though we did get sick of the car, it was really not that bad. and it was, of course, tons of fun.

today i was making a list of errands i need to run and i nearly started crying as the weight of my unfullfillment and unknown destiny crashed down on me. do you ever have moments like that? i wonder what it was about writing down that i need to buy more breakfast sandwiches that made me just feel a moment of complete dissatisfaction, helplessness, and mediocrity. i'm pretty sure it had nothing to do with the Jimmy Dean de-light sandwiches which i actually find quite tasty with their lowcal egg white, cheese, and turkey sausage goodness. but it's like, ugh, i don't want to deal with feeding myself, making lists and buying things, making money, i don't want to get my car worked on, i don't want to mail my bills, i can't believe i have like 60 more years of this crap. but don't worry. i quickly recovered.
i don't know if these are moments of clarity and insight into the human condition, are they moments of despair, opportunities for change? i guess it could be any of those things. i think the actual line that ran through my head was "God, what am I DOING?"

anyway, the verve has a new album out--it reminds me a little bit of urban hymns, but more of the album before that. as always, sweeping echoing instrumentals. and a chill, somewhat gloomy vibe. i found a fun album called ode to sunshine by a San Diego group called Delta Spirit, it reminds me a little of the cold war kids, whom i also adore.