Well, That Was Unexpected

Real life is stranger than fiction...depending on which authors you read, of course.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

the retreat

where have i been? well, i went to a retreat with my church last weekend in pine valley. i was helping one of my good friends, kim, watch her baby b/c her husband is out of town and she is the children and families pastor at the church. full of fun and campfire and very little sleep due to screaming baby. major hilarity highlight: the assistant pastor who was running the whole thing ended up preaching on the life of peter and the symbol for peter is: the upside down cross...now, i don't know how megadeth any of you are, but when i think of the upside down cross i think of satanic cults. and so all of our retreat paraphrenalia is covered with these upside down crosses. and i'm just dying b/c i think it's hysterical. and the people in their congregration are like "how could he not know?" so they were sort of embarrassed. anyway, it turns out that one of charity's best friends was attending a men's retreat in the same place and so i showed him our retreat literature and said "when you see this, what do you think?" and he made the devil sign with his hands and stuck out his tongue. i was like "exactly." so for the rest of the retreat he would flash me with that sign across the room. the weekend also involved a harrowing search for lost keys and me getting bit by a poisonous spider which gave me a high fever and chills and for which i am now taking antibiotics. i did think it would be sort of cool to be killed by a black widow. when i woke up this morning i looked up to the sky and said "guess you want to keep me around a little longer, eh?" and then i tumbled out of bed and started my day.

today found out the mutterer is a painter. teaches art classes. i'm like, how can an artist be so frickin inhospitable and grumbly? who knew. she has this whole other side that teaches painting at craft stores. i feel like i'm learning that John Bolton knits sweaters for his kitties.

a tattooed man with a birthmark reddening half his face at the deli a few blocks down gave me a free drink, which i assumed came with my sandwich. my coworkers were like "uh, no, none of US got free drinks" so they were like "oooh, he's sweet on you." a phrase from the fifties, i believe. but i was like, "well, he DID seem rebellious, and that's a good thing, i enjoy the tattoos." i'll have to see if it was a fluke or not.

when i went to the doctor--my lovely blessed hero of the week for having compassion on the insurance-less and giving me good deals and finding me samples so i didnt have to pay for a prescription for my antibiotics--she said i lost about 8 pounds last month. that's cool. i havent been weighing myself, but you know those doctor people, they are obsessed.

today my coworker Will had salt and vinegar chips on his desk. they were pointed outward and i said "um, i assume by the directionality of the bag that you are offering us these chips and not just trying to taunt us?" affirmative. i was like "you and krista are trying to seduce us with your tasty wares." which is what rachel does at ORTV. if i ever get desperate for a husband, i will have to try this tactic. as it is now, i buy readymade veggie plates to bring to parties or i bring the soda.

saw x-men 3 last night with charity, major disappointment. barfy brett ratner did his ratty best and there was no character development, no sympathy. it was sort of lame--the plot wasn't even convincing, i was like, dude, they are so not going to exterminate all of you and you guys are so not going t fight a war, and the golden gate bridge moving? eh. whatever , except for the last two scenes with magneto sort of moving the chess piece and jean luc picard being alive the movie would have been better with no words. as charity noted: why is it that when jean grey was demolishing everyone and wolverine was the only one who could stop her b/c of his amazing instantaneous healing abilities, his shirt vaporized but his pants didnt? not that we wanted to see what was under his pants, well, i mean not that we don't want to either, uh, whatever, but it's a logical flaw.

i'm going to get a cup of chai from the upstart crow now and wait for ma and pa hartle's bible study group to be done.


Blogger Rachel said...

are you calling me a seducer? :)

my mom always told me...the way to a man's heart is through his stomach!

okay, that sounds really cheesy.

love your blog!

have you seen mine lately? The overly gracious officers took me out yesterday.

10:29 PM  
Anonymous Aim said...

Do keep us posted on tattooed man. ;) Oh and btw I had pumpkin spice CoffeeMate at my pastor's house last night--I hadn't added it to the shopping list so hadn't tasted it yet--and I am in looove.

6:38 AM  

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