Well, That Was Unexpected

Real life is stranger than fiction...depending on which authors you read, of course.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

i am scarier than halloween

AH, it's a new day. may i announce that nothing is quite as scary as going to the brown-recluse.com website and seeing what exactly these little suckers can do. they also say that your wound can keep coming back years and years later. and then they say you should buy their little brown-recluse spider bite kit, only 19.95, call today. hmmm. the all my children spider bite. i love it. i will try to make my updates more dramatic in that vein,"ahhh, the flesh is disintegrating from my leg" "Julie, you've got to call the doctor" "But, I can't, then i will have to tell him... i am pregnant with his baby" "my God, julie, it's better than dying, besides, he's been in a coma for the last week and he has amnesia...and, julie, no one has told you, but your doctor is actually a woman now" "noooooo, paul..." "that's right, paul became paula last month" "the flesh disintegrating from my body and the oozing pus of my wound mean nothing to me now" *faint*

so even though the daewoo is a piece of crap, it seems like not a day goes by that i don't think "i love my car" when i fit into teency little parking spaces and when i get 30 mpg even though i have a hole in my muffler. if my car were a person it would be an adorable handicapped old person who competes in the special olympics and i would pinch its cheeks.

songs i cant get out of my head are: galvanize by the chemical brothers, and walking with a ghost by tegan and sara.

yesterday we had another hilariously executed online class. the crazy russian professor was online in moscow conducting, but had no access to the chat room so we had to do it on bulletin boards. i worked out on my elliptical trainer the whole time. 2 hours! not incredibly rigorous, but still, felt good. especially since the lag time b/w all of us posting to the discussion boards was painfully long, if i had been sitting down i think my ADD tendencies may have gotten the best of me. what's also hilarious is that those two hours werent even proactive weight loss hours, they were entirely to counteract the day's consumption of my company's mexican fiesta (catered by Tio Leo's, the place i took campbell and linda!) and nauseating amounts of candy. my roe v wade outfit went over well, but only one person actually got it without me telling them. but they appreciated it very much. that person was dressed up very adorably as rosie the riveter, as you might expect.

i'm using my incredibly expensive Lush bath products and may i say that i smell amazing. and i lament that there is no man to enjoy this. besides owen, my nephew, who loves me more for my tiger impersonation and the fact that i can provide him with strawberries than my luscious smells.


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