Well, That Was Unexpected

Real life is stranger than fiction...depending on which authors you read, of course.

Monday, February 12, 2007


my task box is mercifully empty for a few moments. despite the presence of better other things to do in life i have decided to blog about the grammy awards.

when tony bennett was up with stevie wonder and kept repeating "stevie wonderful" like a weird robot, i predicted that SNL would spoof it within the next few weeks. i am testing the water to see if i have the gift of prophecy.

so you're the dixie chicks. and you are winning every award for which you are nominated for an album that was considered a politically charged protest, a risky country/rock piece of fabulousness (the album *is* actually really good imo). you are introduced by Joan Baez herself. and you get up and say...nothing? the best you can come up with is a simpson's quote (albeit funny). you have this amazing platform to speak out for peace and justice and you instead get up and let natalie maines act retarded in the most godawful dress ever created? take a cue from the freaking awesome mary j blige and thank 400 people on notecards and then just murmur "thank you father, thank you jesus" or anything more dramatic than what you did. say something like " i hate war, but i love texas."

you might protest christina aguilera's lyrics, subject matter, existence, and the fact that she unnecessarily trashifies many of her songs--and the world would probably be a better place if we all did, mrs. aguilera i am talking to *you*--but, damn, the girl can sing. *duh-amn*.

i totally get why everyone (me and millions of 14 year olds) loves justin timberlake, but he really didnt deserve to perform two songs, especially not the super retarded one in which the tvaudience picks which woman will sing a duet with him like 2 seconds before said duet actually starts, leaving the two other girls to sit in the audience, rejected, watching the girl who beat them in their quest for 15 minutes of fame gyrate with JT. a new form of cruelty.

in other news, i am currently using eharmony. yes. i know, almost no one will ever admit to this, but since my cousin, miss florida, found her husband on eharm, and so did like 10 other people i know, it doesnt bother me. not to mention that it seems like lots of people are really interested in how it works. and you can definitely email me if that is the case. so, a trend i've noticed is that the korean guys always have the funniest profiles. my profile says that i am funny, but isnt actually funny itself, so i wonder if that is why i have been closed by all the funny koreans. could also be the fact that the average korean woman is super hot and has had plastic surgery to make herself even more corneasearingly gorgeous and so the julie cannot compete. anyway, who wants to date someone whose ancestors were douchebags who got destroyed like 400 times by the japanese? *sigh* or maybe it's the fact that i have studied up on china, their former imperial master and friend of the north. whatever. damn you, funny koreans.

i have two new cheeses for your consideration: st. andres and expolater. both creamy soft and fabulous, a tad salty. bellissima.


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